Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Your Child

I know many of you are patiently waiting for an update on my Dad. It's a challenge to keep you informed because my Dad's personality and physical condition can appear almost 'normal' one minute, and then change in a moment, making everything I say obsolete.

Physically Dad is coming around. He still has a catheter, but he is now eating well and enjoying his meals. We bring in his favourite home-made treats which he thoroughly enjoys and devours. He walks with his therapist every day and is comfortable sitting up in a chair. On a couple of occasions we have had opportunity to take Dad downstairs in a wheelchair and this change of scenery seems to give him great pleasure. Today when we arrived Dad had finished shaving and tidying up his room. Everything looked so clean and neat. If only his mind was just as 'tidy'!

Dad is still struggling between reality and fiction. I believe this is our 'new normal'. He has no recollection each morning that his family has been with him the day before. Our entrance each day is always a 'first'. Although he can still tell time, he has no concept of it. He often remembers events in the distant past, but forgets things that have occurred only seconds before.

When he is passive he resembles a sweet little child, just wanting to be loved and cared for by his family. We embrace such times. Then suddenly, without warning, we begin to see agitation. It manifests itself in several ways. Fidgeting is a forerunner. Pacing. Organizing. A glassy stare. We prepare ourselves for a mood change.

This evening Dad called three different family members, begging them to come and take him home. Oh Dad, if only we could. If only home really could be a safe place for you right now. Father, can You help Daddy know that He can be at home with You? Help him rest in knowing that You will never leave him or forsake him.

Many decisions need to be made. Please pray the Lord will grant us wisdom and unity. As I sat and looked through information on different care facilities and options last evening, the choice that appeared so clear when it was far away, seems unbelievably difficult and impossible now. Father, show us what You desire for my Daddy and Your child.


LisaShaw said...

I absolutely will pray for the wisdom in all decisions, God's provision in all area and His divine presence to pour peace down upon your Dad in Jesus Name. Amen.

So many of us whom you know and those of us like me whom you don't know continue to pray for your precious Dad and for you and your family. May the peace of God which surpasses all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus as the Bible says and may you find all the strength you need in HIM.

Bless you.

Beth E. said...

I went through the same type of situation with my aunt, and that was difficult enough. I can't imagine what it's like going through this with your dad. My heart goes out to you, Joy.

Praying that God will give you and your family great wisdom and PEACE with every decision made.

Leah said...


It is so difficult to see a parent decline. To see your once strong and able parent become the child while you are forced to be the adult. It is incredibly difficult. Please know you are in my prayers.

I have something that I would love to send you. If you don't mind send me your mailing address via email and I will get it in the mail to you. You can pop over to my blog and use the contact form to email me.


Catherine said...

Love you so much friend. Prayers have changed to ones of support and wisdom for you and your family as you make these big decisions with God's help. Continuing to pray for the healing of Grandpa's mind.

Here for you always. Love and ((hugs)) xo

Julie Gillies said...


I think of you and pray for you regularly. May the Lord grant you and your family wisdom and His peaceful presence as you walk this difficult road.


Marilyn in Mississippi said...

Still praying.

Sad for you. To me it's actually harder to see the changes in a loved one's mind than in their body.

May our Lord give you and your family the wisdom in the decisions ahead.

Love in Christ,

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

May today hold wisdom and new hope and promise for your dad and his continuing care. I know how rough this has been on you Joy. God will see you all through this. I know you know this, but today I pray you feel it via his peace.


On Purpose said...

As I read this post today I can't help but call out to God some why questions...which I am very sure you have called out too! But I find such release and assurance knowing that His word says when we call out in questions He ANSWERS! Praying for Joy knowing He holds you tightly and knowing He is speaking to your heart. I love you my friend!

LisaShaw said...

I listed your Dad on my blog for Pause and Pray Day. God bless you as you stand firm on the LORD for your Dad.

Charlene Kidd said...

I am praying for you.

Dana said...

I too, have been down this road. This is probably going to be one of the toughest things you and your family will ever experience. I was very fortunate in the fact that my Dad was in a care facility in the town where I worked. I fed him his lunch every day! I received so much healing from this. My Dad had always said grace at all of our meals. I continued this tradition at the facility until one day he was unable and I asked him if he wanted me to say grace. He knodded and I did. When I finished he told me he had never heard a more beautiful prayer. I was so honored and blessed by God that he allowed my Dad to have the presence of mind at that moment to do something he had ALWAYS done in the past... to make me feel good. I must say that although it was tough at times, I had many wonderful times with Dad at the facility. I would sing to him and tell him many things I probaby should have said before he got sick. Joy, I am praying for you and your family to embrace this and enjoy every moment you get to spend with your Dad.
One more thing, when I read your post on Glynnis' blog and saw you were in a trial I checked you out to see if you were the same Joy whose name is written in red across the front of my spiral notebook that I carry in my purse which holds prayers and devotions. And sure enough you are the same Joy I prayed for when you were going to a She Speaks conference (I think maybe your first). I prayed many times for you and still do when I glance at that big red JOY on my notebook. Rest in our Savior Jesus Christ He will carry you through this. Love you.

In Christ,

Bonita said...

Joy, You are going through so much right now. I don't know what to say except I pray that the Lord will surround your entire family with love and comfort.

lisasmith said...


You and yours are in my prayers. Praying for wisdom and unity. Praying for peace. Praying for God's hand to move so mightily it will seen and recognized by all.

love you,