Monday, July 28, 2008

High Maintenance

We’ve all met them. “High Maintenance” people. They’ll suck the life right out of you if you let them. You give them an inch, they take a mile. They are constantly needy. Friendship with them is draining. Seeing their number appear on the “call display” of your phone, brings hesitation as to whether you have time to pick up the receiver. Hearing their voice stifles an inner groan. Inviting them over for coffee takes mental and emotional preparation as they leave you exhausted. You pray for more patience and for God’s love to change your heart so you will see them though His eyes of love, but it’s still hard.

I received a comment on one of my recent blog posts remarking that it’s a good thing God doesn’t need to take a nap, because my life was keeping Him rather busy! My friend was joking about my constant need for God, minute by minute, hour by hour while I was away at the “She Speaks” Conference in North Carolina. I guess I ‘d have to agree with her - I was a “high maintenance” Christian during that weekend. However, when I thought about that further, I believe God desires us to be ‘high maintenance’. He wants us to be completely and totally depending on Him.

Websters says that the dependent person relies on another for support or aid; a person who depends on someone else for existence. Who are you putting your faith and trust in today? We often sing that chorus, “You are the air I breathe”. If you sincerely believe that truth, then you recognize that God is maintaining and sustaining each second of your life. Scripture says that apart from Him I can do nothing. NOTHING! God doesn’t want me independent and self-reliant. He desires that I lean fully on Him for everything.

Sometimes circumstances arise in our life that force us back into a relationship with Him where we are totally and completely dependent on God. We recognize that we are entirely helpless and that without God's miraculous intervention the outcome looks bleak at best. Don't loose hope. Our Father is more than able to handle all that concerns us today. Don’t try and take matters into your own hands, but in sweet surrender trust God. He wants us desperate for Him and He doesn’t groan with each request. He longs for us to cast all our cares on Him because He cares for us. He will carry us through every situation. We don't need to preface our concern with an apology. God yearns for us to share everything with Him and expect everything from Him.

As I write this my parents are leaning on God with high house maintenance concerns. The last several days of rain have brought havoc to the structure of their home, but their foundation is in Him. I have a friend whose daughter is causing unexpected high emotional strain of betrayal, hurt and disappointment, yet she’s clinging to the hope she has in Him as I'm sure many are storming heaven on her behalf. I personally am coming to Him with so many questions, cares and concerns, yet He doesn’t shy away from my dependency, but welcomes it. He say’s, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” Don’t be afraid to share it all with Him. He can take it and He’ll never leave you or forsake you. Today He wants to carry you.

God loves us to be “high maintenance”, trusting in and on Him for everything. Can you say today, Lord, You are my all in all? Don't blame yourself for past mistakes, or camp on "what if's". Let Him breathe life into whatever situation is consuming your thoughts and breaking your heart. He's right there my friend...just reach out and take His hand. Fall into His secure embrace.

*** Before I close, I must thank Susan for “tagging me”…I think! :o)

To answer her request, I must post 6 random things about me. So….I went to my 16 year old son and asked him to supply my answer. This is what he said:
1.Mom loves dark, orange chocolate.
2.Mom likes anything associated with “dancing” and “Princess” themes.
3.Mom spends as much time as possible reading and writing.
4.Mom hates the kitchen (to which he added – This is demonstrated in her cooking ability!)
5.Mom loves God and doing Bible studies with friends.
6.Mom is always wrong (spoken like a true 16 year old boy!)


grey like snuffie said...

good way to look at high maintenance--in the depending on God side. I fear I give in to too many thoughts at times that are contrary to the "new creation" that I am to be walking out. Learning to take thoughts captive----HUGE need for me. To stop and not react but to turn to Him is my goal. Your son thinks he's funny doesn't he, evidence in your cooking. lol

Runner Mom said...

I forget that "He's the air I breathe" so often! Thank you for reminding me of that. We discussed at Bible Study this morning the fact that we need dependence on Him and less on our independence. Loved your insight!

I appreciated your takng the time to get your son to help you with being tagged!! Don't you just love their take on the subject ? Loved your answers!!
Love ya,

Holly said...

Beautiful post Joy. Thank you thank you for your wise and truthful words. They resonated through me my friend.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

Thank you, Joy, for this most beautiful, precious and much needed post. Your words struck my heart especially: "Let Him breathe life into whatever situation is consuming your thoughts and breaking your heart." Breaking my heart...just to hear that from another brought such comfort in my broken heart. I know He's there. I'm so glad He does want us to be high maintenance yet I somehow feel I'm failing Him by not being "happy" enough or rather content and at peace during my heart break.

You are a true gem, Joy.

JMBMOMMY said...

I loudly proclaim -- "I am high maintenance "-- loving how it feels to live as my independence slowly dies!

Sita Henderson said...

Our society lauds independence, the go-getters..and is somewhat embarrassed by people who are openly needy...
How far we have strayed from His view...this word encouraged me tonight...thank you..

Lynn Cowell said...

How wonderful it is to have Someone who doesn't mind us being "needy". Thanks for the reminder!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

First off...

I love your heart!


I love your friendship.


Thank you for taking the time to write to Nick.


I apologize if I'm the one that made that comment about working God overtime. I can't remember.


All that stuff your 16 year old said about you? Me too! We are kindred spirits and you delight my heart with joy this night.


I nearly wet my pants laughing with your initial thoughts on this post. I could soooooooo relate!


Cheri Bunch said...

Joy, I see someone else has tagged you. I tagged you today as well. Hope you enjoy!
These are the rules:

1) Link to the person who tagged you
2) Post the rules on your blog (Exactly like you see me doing right now.)
3) Write 6 random things about yourself
4) Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them (This is only a game)
5) Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
6) Let the tagger know when your entry is up
Love you,

Yolanda said...

FROG...fully relying on God

DOG...depending on God

Loving Him....serving Him....HE IS THE AIR I BREATHE!

Great post Joy, a true delight. Exciting also that others are high maintenance. ;0)


Anonymous said...

Your too funny! You gotta watch out for us kids and our 'truths.'

I wish you a blessed day!

In His Grip,

Luann said...

Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!

My husband insists that when a 'needy' friend calls during our alone time to return the call after I am 'prayed up'!

Excellent advice from a man who knows my desire to be available to friends, yet also knows how drained I can become if I don't fill up before I give out.

Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. I always light up when I see Joy has visited.
Love you my friend,

Julie Gillies said...

I'll bet there were more high maintenance women at She Speaks than not! I was surely one of them (with my need to go to Urgent Care and then for prayer...)

It's so true. God longs for us to constantly depend on Him. The good part is...the Lord doesn't sigh when He sees my number on the caller I.D.


Kelley said...

I love your son's answers, they sound so much like what my son would have said! I also love the "High Maintenance" post. I feel like I am WAAY high maintenance right now and I know I need to give it all over to Him. Thanks for the reminder Joy, you are so right on!

Leah said...

I want to be major high maintainence where God is concerned. If I am not then I get myself into situations where He has to either bail me out or discipline me. It is much easier to just lean into Him all the time and stay in the center of His will.


Melissa said...


Thank you for making me feel good about being a "high maintenance" girl, we both know I am!

And I didn't know you didn't like to cook. I don't either!!!! You seem like you would for some reason:)

Love you sweet friend,