Well....I was awake just after 4am this morning....couldn't sleep...how quickly my feelings can change when my focus goes off God and onto circumstances.
Yesterday was a great day! I was eating, I felt good, the knot in my stomach was gone...then...around 9pm last night I discovered my husband booked me on a 50-seater plane to take this adventure with God to North Carolina! (see "Joy Surprised" and "Urgent Help Needed" posts below for more details.) He laughs at my panicked reaction to the size of this plane and says it's big enough. I feel hurt, angry, frightened, brokenhearted. He knows my fear. Why would he do that? To tease? I know he's never had any patience with my fears, but it seems cruel to me....he couldn't have done this just to be mean....so...the question arises....in what am I placing my faith? In the size of my plane? In my pilot? In the scientific reasons why a 'huge' anything can defy gravity and stay up in the air? In good mechanics to service the plane? Where is my faith? Is it in God? Do I trust Him? Do I believe in the character and competence of my Pilot? Is my God big enough regardless of the size of the plane?
But Lord...my faith is so small...
Your Word tells me that if I have mustard seed faith I can see mountains moved. It's not about the size of my faith OR the size of the plane - it's all about the Object of my faith. Do I trust God?
This morning I see so much of my life is controlled by flesh...emotions controlled by circumstances. A heart attitude filled with the Spirit is full of joy! The constant battle between flesh and spirit is ultimately a battle of control. Nancy Leigh DeMoss writes in "Seeking Him", "Many Christians spend much of their lives struggling and trying harder to repress their fleshy tendencies. The problem is: flesh can't reform flesh. Our fleshly passions and desires need to be put to death." We have to live according to the Spirit by setting our minds on things of the Spirit - Rom. 8:5 - then, verse 6 reads, "To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace". Ah....peace.... Nancy continues, "The pull of our flesh is strong. But the Spirit is even more powerful. We must exercise faith in the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit to grant us victory over the flesh."
Romans 8:11 reminds me that the SAME power that raised Christ from the dead is in me. I can be victorious in EVERY situation for NOTHING is impossible through the Spirit in me.
My stronghold of fear has bound and paralyzed me for so long. It's been my 'normal'. My constant. My way of life. Jeremiah 15:11 offers hope - "Assuredly, I will set you free and care for you. Assuredly, I will intercede for you." My Father is promising me freedom. My Father cares for me. My Father is working on my behalf.
God's Word speaks peace. Suddenly the thought of a 50 seater plane grows dim, in the light of His glory and grace. It really is all about Focus.