His Peace for the Journey

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Nine

I'm about to embark on the most exceptional task. I am going to try and pen the impossible. Knowing this day has been approaching I have tried several times to gather my thoughts, but I come here now - blank page before me. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's that I have too much. My heart is so full and I wonder where and how to begin.

One night while visiting my friend Renee's blog, I read a comment that called me to linger in a moment of sacred wonder. Renee was writing a series of posts on the Woman at the Well, and this author had written, "His thirst led Him there. Her thirst kept Him there." I just loved that! I wanted to "meet" the gal who penned such stirring expression. I took what would become the first of many visits to holy ground.

That was March 10th. On March 17th this very new acquaintance sent me an untitled e-mail. It read, "Joy...Have you thought about attending the She Speaks/She Writes conference in June?...Think about it..."

Little did she know I had been doing nothing but thinking about it. For over a month I had seriously been praying, searching, seeking, waiting, wanting God to write across the sky or in the sand His direction for me. I wanted to open my Bible and read a verse I had never seen before: "Joy, thou shalt go forth, to a land you know not of, and attend the She Speaks Conference in June." I remember writing a blog post in my confusion - "Delay, Denial, Don't Know!" There were so many unknowns. Couple the unfamiliar with my fear of flying and the fact that the conference hotel was already fully booked and it seemed too much for this very timid little "Much Afraid".

Three and half hours after receiving this message I was in the middle of pouring my heart of indecision out on the computer to my friend Holly, when another message arrived in my Inbox. Without even a salutation her words began, "If you decide you want to go...you can room with me...I'll be praying that the Lord directs your path." She assured me that I would know what to do and ended with these words, "Maybe you already do."

I replied to her e-mail, still seeking God's direction. Wondering, was God clearly guiding and providing for all my needs, but I was responding like the man of whom the story is told who is sitting on the roof of his home while flood waters rise around him. The man has prayed for God to rescue him. A helicopter flies overhead and offers to air-lift him, but he replies that he is waiting for God. A boat drives by, willingly offering to row him to shore, but again, he is waiting on God. The man finally dies. When he arrives in heaven he inquires of the Lord. "Why didn't you answer my prayer?" God responds: "Who do you think sent the boat and the helicopter?"

Was I being just like this man? Was God making His way very obvious, but fear was blinding my eyes and my heart. I mean, this was huge! A gal I had only 'met' seven days prior through our blogs, was inviting me to join her in North Carolina and offer lodging when it was so difficult to locate.

As Paul Harvey says, "Now you know the rest of the story". God had opened up this gals heart to love and accept me, sight unseen. He had called her to extend His invitation and she obeyed. She offered me more than a hotel room. She embraced me in love and gave me room in her heart.




Elaine, you are the best! You have faithfully continued to speak hope over my life. From the moment we met, it was like we had always been friends. Your writings call me to a deeper and closer walk with my Lord and Savior. Visiting your blog is like curling up with a good book, knowing my heart will be changed before I walk away and I will have seen Jesus in a fresh new way. Your words are a symphony of praise to God. You have the act of making a beautiful melody that my heart longs to sing. You share with conviction and authenticity. I savor each chord. Delight in every harmony. I sit back filled, knowing I have been with the Great Conductor Himself.

A visit to Elaine's blog should not be rushed...cannot be rushed. She is a new generation of Oswald Chambers and her posts require lingering and pondering. I need time. They deserve time. She pours out her heart and soul. Each writing must leave her completely spent as she withholds nothing, but allows the King of Kings to move her hand, from His heart, and like Solomon of old, unearth treasures in darkness. With the palette of the written word, she paints lasting pictures on the canvas of my heart, creating a priceless masterpiece of truth. She has discovered that the sacred resides within the ordinary and she draws me to a deeper longing for the holy. Her writing invites me to pick up my own paintbrush and add the finishing touches to this piece of art with my own personal response. I can't walk away from the gift of her words without surrendering my life anew to the God who longs to paint His story over my life.

Elaine, you bring pleasure to God. I know He smiles when He looks at you. You have a heart filled with passion for the Lord. You have traveled many roads and He has given you His peace for the journey.

I love you my friend. And so, I echo back to you, your writing led me to your blog, your friendship will forever cause me to stay.

Hugs and prayers,
Joy

Bouquets of His Love

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Eight

Having a blog has opened up a whole new world to me. My friend Carol was the one who encouraged me 3 years ago to begin sharing my thoughts and life through this avenue of writing and I'm so thankful that she did. I never could have imagined the friendships and connections that have developed as I've poured my heart out, unchecked, sitting at my computer in the comfort of my own home.

That's why the first event at the "She Speaks" conference filled me with excitement. A "Blogger's Reception" was hosted for those of us who have connected through cyber space.

I was thrilled and delighted to meet Lynn. She and I are fairly new friends. She is a speaker and writer and has an amazing ministry with teenage girls. She has God sized dreams and is following and trusting His leading. She has been such an encouragement to me. Just two days ago Lynn sent me an e-mail inquiring how she could be praying for me right now. That's friendship!



Lelia, led a study I participated in on-line. Every Tuesday I would share my respone to Lysa TerKeurst's book, "What Happens When Women Say 'Yes' to God". It was great to meet my faithful leader face-to-face.




Another member of that book study was Pamela. We were able to share a lovely visit Saturday afternoon. Her sweet and quiet ways blessed me abundantly.



Susan was a surprise friend. While I was waiting in the lobby of the hotel Friday afternoon, this lovely girl approached me and sweetly asked, "Are you Joy?" She then explained that she was aware of how nervous I had been to fly from Canada to North Carolina on my own and she had been praying for me throughout her entire drive to the Conference! It was so wonderful to be able to share with her all that God had done. She was such a special blessing.



Last, but not least, my Kansas friend Kelley. Kelley was the first new blog friend I met across my computer screen. I would have loved the opportunity to have spent more time with her. We had been e-mailing almost daily prior to the conference, trying to hold each other accountable in certain areas of our life. So often her messages to me were, and still are, just what the Doctor ordered as she points my heart to the Great Physician.



Before closing today I must share a God-story that happened while attending this bloggy gathering. When speaking with Lynn, a gal approached us. I assumed she knew Lynn as I didn't recognize her at all. We turned to say 'hello' and she reached into a bag and handed me a single daisy in a small, glass vase. I was stunned. Why, out of all the women in this room, was I receiving a daisy? I asked her if she knew that daisies were my favourite flower and she said, 'No'. She quickly walked away and I was left standing there in awe.

You see, I call daisies God's "I love you" flower. If you've been visiting my blog for any length of time, you know that this blog design, (a gift from my sweet friend Kelley) reflects the knowledge that God loves me. With God it is never, "He loves me, He loves me not", but always, "He loves me, He loves me, he loves me..."

God was delivering me His personal message of love. I had stepped out in faith and obedience and followed Him to North Carolina and He was showing and proclaiming His love for me.

Know today that He has a bouquet of love for you. If you happen to see a daisy today, linger in His presence and promise knowing God is saying, "I love you".

(Be sure to visit my other blog "Pondering in His Presence" to see the amazing truth God was teaching me this morning!)

Covered in His Dust

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Seven

Several years ago I purchased a little book that would forever have major impact on my life. It wasn't long after acquiring this little gem that I was seated at a Women's Conference, waiting with eager anticipation, for the author who penned those treasured words to walk out on the platform and share her heart. I was so excited; my stomach was doing crazy little flip flops. The Coordinator of the event appeared and began introducing the speaker. With hands clasped in my lap, I sat straighter, not wanting to miss my first glance at the gal who God had used to so inspire my heart.

My spirit soared from her very first 'Hello' and I was held captive as she began opening up the book of her life and sharing with all who were gathered there that day. I clung on to every word as I heard of God's mercy, grace, forgiveness, acceptance and unconditional love. She was an ordinary woman - yes, but being used by an extraordinary God in extraordinary ways. The pages of her story were filled with doubt, confusion, heartache, pain, loss, surrender, joy, faith and obedience. Oh yes, obedience. Full. Complete. Radical.

At the conclusion of this Conference the Lord planted a dream seed in my heart. For years I watered it with prayer and committed this dream to God. On February 2, 2008 it would become a reality. This very author was going to be speaking at my church. Booked well in advance, for a year she was prayed for daily. Once a week I would meet with the Events Coordinator and we would lift her name, her family, and her traveling companion before His throne of grace. This endeavor was bathed in prayer and God touched many ladies through His faithful messenger. Little did I know that God had orchestrated our paths to cross again that day for reasons beyond what I could have imagined.

Sitting at my computer late one evening this past March, her name suddenly appeared in my "Inbox". Caught completely by surprise, I opened her message. From her salutation to her closing remarks, my heart was wrapped in love. She was offering me an invitation, a word of encouragement, reminding me to trust the Lord, calling me to overcome fear. She was sharing what had been impressed on her heart concerning me - and knowing her past track record with God, I didn't doubt for a moment its accuracy. Her message closed with prayer and the promise of continued prayers.

I'll never forget how my hand remained poised on that computer "mouse", holding on for dear life as literally every part of my body was shaking. This was more than a friend's e-mail. It was a call to face my giant and begin journeying a road from fear to faith. Her message ushered in a sleepless night of wrestling with God. To hold on to the familiar or abandon it all for the sake of His call.



Lysa, how do I begin to thank you? Words are inadequate. I pray that for a brief moment, God will let you listen to my heart. It swells with so much gratitude to God and to you for your continual, selfless expressions of His kindness - not just to me - but to so many others. Your life is a reflection of Christ. You follow so closely in His footsteps that you are continually shrouded in His dust. It's a beautiful covering that speaks of your intimacy with the God of the universe who loves and delights in you.

I don't know where God will lead me next, but because of the journey I recently embraced, I know I can trust Him. Thank you for saying 'yes' to God. Your obedience called me to a deeper level and a higher plane - both spiritually and physically. :o)

I know you enjoyed the game show, "Let's Make a Deal", but you're the "Real Deal" my friend. Completely genuine. The Lord has given you many gifts, yet you remain humble and authentic. You inspire others to slip into sandals and walk the trails that God has blazed before us, reminding us that His footprints are trustworthy to follow. Your total dependence on God is such an example to me. Your complete surrender calls me to join you in reckless abandon.

Thank you from the depths of my heart for reaching out to me. I marvel at 'why'. Me, a shy, insecure, quiet, often overlooked, unchosen, 'passed by' gal - but through your actions God said, "Not this time - today I paused for you."

May He continue to use you to hand deliver His 'pauses' to seeking souls who need to see the reality of Jesus lived out in your life. You live for His glory. May you take a moment to rest today and listen as He pauses over your life and whispers, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Love, Hugs and continued prayers,
Joy

Her Father's Eyes

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Six

In booking a speaker for the Women's Winter Interlude event at our church this past February, we discovered our guest would be traveling with a companion. We knew the speaker, but who was this other gal, her "assistant", who would be joining us on this occasion? Along with our guest and her family, I began praying for this other lady daily. I truly believe it was at this point, without ever meeting her, God birthed a very special friendship.

As soon as we met, I knew a kindred spirit had been found. She has a quiet confidence and grace that is so attractive, all wrapped in outward beauty as well. Almost instantly two things about her unnerved me, yet, at the same time, drew me to her. She posed a lot of personal questions and she looked past words as she listened to my heart. No passing, casual comment was wasted. She dug deep. She asked the how, what, where, when and why's. I received her undivided attention and felt appreciated and valued.

At supper that evening I'll never forget the kind gesture she made. As we sat across from one another, she leaned forward, blew out the candles on the centre of the table and said, "I want to see you when I talk to you." She is all about 'seeing'. Seeing past phrases, sentences, facial expressions, body language and into the very core of my heart. She knows the art of listening, and realizes it involves so much more than just 'hearing'.

Before we parted ways she hugged me and told me to keep in touch - a kindness she may have regretted, as I took her up on this invitation. E-mails flowed back and forth and she became a trusted and true friend.

One night, in much confusion, I poured my heart out to her regarding a decision I needed to make and fears that were consuming me. She did more than just encourage. She acted on my behalf. Not saying a word she put into motion the path that led me to "She Speaks". Without her intervention, I wonder if my ears would have been so tuned to hear God's 'Go'.



Holly, you are a treasure. You read between the lines and respond to words not spoken. You offer advice and encouragement. You point me to Jesus. You've shared wonderful ideas with me to empower my prayer time with my family and strengthen my marriage. Your words are so often showers of blessings poured over a scorched and thirsty soul. Although you are so busy, you still always find time for me, and your messages hold depth of insight and wisdom. Excitement abounds. Enthusiasm explodes. Love lingers.

Seeing you again a couple of weekends ago was such a highlight for me. I was so excited to share with you how God had answered prayer in such an awesome way - above and beyond what I could have asked or imagined. When your eyes met mine Friday afternoon, I no longer felt so alone in the foreign country God had called me to - I had a friend. You know that feeling when you've made an appointment with a friend for lunch or a movie and you arrive first at the location, waiting for your girlfriend to arrive? As you scan a sea of faces with expectancy, suddenly you see her and your heart lifts with delight. That was the anticipation and joy I was feeling.

You are continually blessing me. Just a couple of days ago you sent me such a word of encouragement. You dream God-sized dreams for me and call me to pray and seek God's plans for my life. You invite me to travel from the mundane to the miraculous and not settle for mediocrity.

Without the action you took on March 17th I may well have missed the most amazing weekend of my life and lost a precious opportunity to find joy in a BIG God. I owe you so much my friend. I can never repay you for what you did, but I pray God will bless you abundantly and fulfill all the desires of your heart. I think God sent you to our church in February as His gift just for me. I'm sure the tag on the wrapping must have read, "To Joy, From God". You were a beautiful surprise package who's friendship continues to be one of my greatest blessings. Thank you for seeing me through our Father's eyes.

Love, prayers and hugs,
Joy

From Stranger to Friend

"I Found Joy in a Big God" Part Five

It was shortly after 7:00pm on Saturday, August 6th, 2005. I had just finished the most delicious dinner provided by the Renaissance Suites Hotel in Charlotte, North Carolina, when a petite gal approached the microphone to share God's Word with a room full of ladies. The session was titled, "Speak Lord, I'm Listening."

Opening up God's Word, the speaker began to share truths unearthed through the story of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10:38-42. Challenging us to live in the 'hear' and now, she took the word 'listen', and using it as an acrostic, guided us through six steps to sitting attentively at the feet of Jesus.

With each truth conveyed, my heart beat quicker. This was the message the Lord had sent me cross-country to receive. God began doing a new work in my heart. Through her gentle delivery, John 11:44 came alive. "Take off the grave clothes and let (her) go." God was beginning to speak freedom over my life, and He was releasing me from the chains that bound me.

I have never forgotten the message shared that night, nor the one through whom it was delivered. Now, here I was, three years later, attending the same Conference, and Saturday night's speaker was none other than this very same gal. One thing had changed though. This time I would sit in her presence, not as a stranger, but as a friend.

Earlier this year the Lord had very strongly impressed her name across my heart and I had responded to His call in obedience. God had called me to commit to pray for her and through a mutual friend we were able to connect.

As I sat now waiting to hear the message God had written for her to share this year, my heart overflowed. This time her message was titled, "Beyond the Shadow of Doubt" and I was eagerly anticipating all that God would say to me through His faithful vessel. I was not disappointed. She opened His Word with assurance. She spoke His truth with genuine love. She shared, not as one who lived a text-book Christianity, but as one who has met Jesus face-to-face and knows the challenges of walking with the Lord, as well as the surpassing greatness of His glory. She may be small in statue, but she is mighty in His power. Her message had God's anointing. My pen couldn't write fast enough, as again God used her to speak the language of His heart.



Renee, thank you for infusing my life with hope. Thank you for allowing me the honour to pray for you and your family. Thank you for the verses of encouragement you sent my way when fear threatened to strangle all faith. You didn't just send scripture, you personalized God's Word calling me to see that His promises applied to me today and His Word is alive and active. You challenged me to dress in His armour and prayed victory over my life.

As I've had the privilege of getting to know you, I see a very real woman who has discarded masks for authenticity. Your sweet and quiet manner welcomes my timid spirit and I know my thoughts find safety with you. I love your heart. There's no false pretense. No cover-up. You share your doubts, concerns, passions, joys, successes and failures and let me know I'm not alone.

I'm so glad I was with you Sunday morning when I found God's Word spoken over my life. That was so exciting!!! (I'll be posting about that another day!)

Your smile is contagious. Your heart so precious. Your friendship a treasured gift. I love how you already believe I'll be back next year! So, I won't say goodbye - just see you next time.

Love, prayers and hugs,
Joy

PS. For those of you reading this today, would you pray for Renee and her family. They are facing some challenges, but we have a God who hears and answers prayer.
"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:10-11

I'll be Back!

Hi Sweet Friends,

Sorry to interrupt this wonderful series of posts - and I know the suspense will be killing you - but I'm leaving for vacation today and won't be back until July 7th. I had originally planned on taking my lap-top and continuing posting daily, but God spoke to me very cleary this morning through my friend Melissa, that I was to leave my computer AT HOME! So, I'm off for a week of "fun in the sun" (although the weatherman is reporting rain...)....but it will still be "fun in the Son" as I spend refreshing time with my Lord and Savior.

Hugs to you all,
Joy

You've Got a Friend

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Four

(Over the next several days I want to share with you a bouquet of friendship. Treasured friends who the Lord has beautifully allowed to bloom in my life and leave their fragrance of Christ forever on my heart. I pray that you will be able to inhale the aroma of His love as you read and may it encourage you to thank Him for the special, precious friends He has blessed you with as well.)

Almost four months ago now, my heart was feeling very discouraged. I had just finished reading the most miraculous account of God showing up in someone's life in the most amazing way, and I was longing to experience Him likewise. I wanted an unbelievable God story to share and I was questioning why He didn't demonstrate Himself in my life like He seemed to be doing daily for this other friend. I poured my heart out right here on this very computer screen, in this very blog, and someone did more than read the comment I wrote to this other friend, she responded. She heard the unspoken cries of my heart and reached out with His love to encourage me. Her words of understanding brought hope to my heart and a friendship was birthed.

This is why, upon arriving in North Carolina, there was one person I wanted to see before all the others on my list of special new friends. I was so warmly greeted in the lobby of the hotel by Luann Prater, who by the way so quickly endeared herself to me by her welcoming smile and then later with her concern for me in finding my roommate - bless you sweet friend. She directed Lorie and I to the "She Speaks" registration and reception area. With each step my heart was repeating one name.

We became friends before I registered for the Conference, but once I took that step of faith, I'm sure I heard her screaming across all these miles that separated us. Her messages of hope and encouragement continued. Some of our sharing was fun and silly, other times much more serious as we shared life together over cyber space. She became a prayer warrior on my behalf and a treasured confidant. She even sent me her cell phone number so that when fear and panic threatened, if needed, I could send an S.O.S. for further support. When her name appears in my in-box, I can't help but smile - she is just one of those people who brings life, joy and God's love and presence wherever the Lord places her.

Her name means "bee", and she certainly often seems as busy as one! Yet, in all her doing, it is her "being still" and knowing that He is God that attracted me to her. She is a woman of God who follows Him hard.

As I approached the information area, my eyes were scanning the faces behind the counter. I felt my heart drop like led, with no visual sighting of this gal who I was certain I would recognize beyond a shadow of a doubt from seeing her picture on her blog; hearing her voice on the phone; and sharing her heart through correspondance.

I gave my name. Received my registration packet. Turned to go. Suddenly a breath of fresh air breezed past my disappointment and with it came the face I was longing to see. Her exclaimation of excitement matched mine as she came hurrying out to throw her arms around me and we embraced face-to-face as friend-to-friend.



Melissa, do you really know how much you have impacted my life? There have been days when I just needed to know that someone cared and God would send His message through you. I wish so much that we could have spent more time together, but now that I've got this plane thing down pat (ah...well, maybe not completely overcome....), I'll just have to come back for a visit! Your sweet and passionate heart for the Lord is blessing many. You radiate His love and draw others to follow hard after Him. My life has been enriched through your friendship and I thank the Lord for you. You were my first picture in North Carolina, and my last, surrounding my visit with His presence through your self-sacrificing life as you served others all weekend. You are touching the lives of many. I am so blessed to be just one. Thank you for being obedient to God several months ago and welcoming me into your bouquet of friends. I leave you with this verse, Melissa. "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." Romans 12:11
Love ya tons!
Hugs, Joy

Beyond My Wildest Dreams

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Three (To start at the beginning, click here.)

"...it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him". 1 Corinthians 2:9

In my wildest dreams I never would have guessed what God had in store for me today.

My husband and I arrived at the airport and all too soon the necessary check-ins were accomplished and it was time to say goodbye. Trying to look as brave and excited as possible, I posed as my husband took a couple of pictures to chronicle this adventure.


I may be smiling on the outside, but inside I was feeling pretty hesitant. I turned to walk through the security doors - each step a step of faith...each footfall a following...each deliberate movement a new dance with my King.

Not being a seasoned traveller, finding my departure gate was an adventure. Thankfully the Lord directed me to a sign indicating I needed to board a bus that would take me to another building and I would be on my way.

Once I was seated in the correct terminal there was nothing more to do but wait and pray...and pray some more. I had brought with me 31 pages of typed Bible verses, prayers, and words of encouragement that friends, family, blog contacts, and Proverbs 31 Staff had sent to strengthen me along the way. Each thought was so precious. Each inspiration a gift of hope. Truths to treasure. More than sentences on a page, they were promises that spoke of victory already accomplished. I cherished each assurance and clung to every word, breathing in the testimony of triumph they conveyed.

With each passing minute, fear raced closer. Time was an enemy, constantly reminding me of the challenge ahead. I sat praying for God's peace to envelop me and praising Him for what He was going to do.

Suddenly my attention was drawn to a gal walking by. My heart skipped a beat. Gathering my belongings I followed after her, calling her name...."Lorie". She turned. We embraced. I had a friend. God was not going to make me face this journey alone. He had provided the sweet surprise of a travelling companion.


Lorie and I had attended school together in Grades 7 and 8, but over the last 30 years we had probably only seen each other about half a dozen times. What fun it was to sit and reminisce. My heart was overflowing.

As we stood in response to the boarding call, Lorie asked me where I was sitting. I told her I was near the front of the plane - aisle 2. She explained to me that her seat had been chosen and booked quite a while back, but when she arrived at the airport this morning she had been told that her seat had to be changed. She was disappointed as the plane was far from capacity and she couldn't understand why they would switch her seat. As she pulled out her boarding pass to see where she was now located, can you believe the joy that exploded in my heart like fireworks to discover that God had moved her right beside me!

Oh my friends, never doubt what God can do. God was still asking me to trust Him, but He was providing such wonderful evidence of His love for me. Could He have asked me to travel alone? Most definitely yes. But, in His great love, compassion and care He saw my timid heart and said, "Dear Precious Joy, I see how you have taken these difficult steps to trust Me. If only you had realized all along that I would never ask you to do anything too hard for you. I will always make a way for you, if only you would trust My heart. Before you had even registered for the Conference I had chosen a friend to travel with you on your journey from fear to faith. Where I guide, I will provide. You can believe My promises. I have good plans in store for you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Fall into my embrace and let me carry you the rest of your days, in peace and calm assurance that I will never leave you or forsake you. I gave my life for you, My precious child, don't doubt my provision any longer. I love you so very much!"

With a heart of reckless abandon I found my seat. God was going to fly me to heights unknown as my plane sped down the runway.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." Ephesians 3:20

(Be sure to be following the journey on my other blog, "Pondering in His Presence" as well.)

IPOD - Inspiring Peace Over Doubt

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part Two (To read Part One click here.)

Stepping out in faith and travelling on my own was huge! Not only was I fearful of flying, but I faced so many unknowns. What would I do at the airport? Where would I go? How would I find my departure gate? Would I get on the right plane? What if I lost my luggage? Questions bombarded my brain like missiles from a fighter jet.

As my husband drove the car to the airport, I reached for the IPOD my son loaned me for this trip. Days prior to leaving my son had worked hard at downloading some songs from our CDs so I would have some music to accompany me on this journey. What I hadn't fully realized was the thought and effort he had put into each selection. As I scrolled the menu through to the Playlist entitled, "Mom's Trip", my heart caught in my throat as I began to read the titles of each song.

This is what I read: The Great Adventure; Ready to Fly; My Redeemer Lives; It's a Good Day; You are Everything; I've Never Trusted You Like I'm Going to do Right Now; Jesus is Alive; Safe and Sound; You are God Alone; Voice of Truth; How Great Thou Art; Fearless; All Things are Possible; Be Lifted High; For the Sake of the Call; Lord I Believe in You; He Holds the Keys; The Potter's Hands; Hold Onto Jesus; Brave; Stepping Up; The Journey; He Reigns; Shout to the Lord; God is Here; The Plan; Go; Love you So Much; Going with Jesus; Leap of Faith; Eagle's Wings; Who Had Faith; Downpour; That's What We Came Here For; Oxygen; Beyond the Clouds; I'm Taking You with Me; Hear Our Praises; Atmosphere; Glory to the King; Friends in High Places; I Do Believe; My Heart will Trust; Be Still and Know; God is in the House.

Don't those titles alone just infuse you with faith to trust! I barely read through two titles before tears were streaming down my face. My son had put so much thought, effort and prayer into choosing songs with lyrics that would remind me to rejoice and put my hope in God.

With these truths ministering already to my longing heart, I reached for the card my friend Carol had given me moments before. This is the prayer I read:

"Come to Me and rest in My loving presence. You know that this day will bring difficulties, and you are trying to think your way through those trials. As you anticipate what is ahead of you, you forget that I am with you - now and always! Rehearsing your troubles results in experiencing them many times, whereas you are meant to go through them only when they actually occur! Do not multiply your suffering in this way! Instead, come to me and relax in my peace. I will strengthen you and prepare you for this day, transforming your fear into confident trust!"

Wiping my eyes and soaring with Him to His destination!

Be sure to check back tomorrow as the saga continues - just think - we're not even at the airport yet!

***It's my friend Carol's birthday today. Praying the Lord will bless you abundantly for all the ways you have touched my heart with His love. You are a one in a million friend, and my life has been enriched by your friendship. May your greatest gift today be more of Him. Love, hugs and prayers.***

You say "Good-bye", I say "Hello"

"I Found Joy in a BIG God" Part One

I don't want to rush through my journey to "She Speaks", skimming the highlights, but linger and savor each treasured moment of how God revealed Himself to me in the most incredible ways. Yesterday I gave you a quick overview, but I now want to call you to join me and stroll slowly through a garden of delights. Let's meander, seeing the beauty, hearing His voice, enjoying His smile. The King called His princess, summoned her to come, and she obeyed.

This past Friday morning my alarm awakened me just before 5:00AM. The very fact that I was aroused from slumber gives testimony to God's provision of a good nights rest before my adventure was to begin.

As I hurried to get ready and meet my husbands departure deadline of 5:30AM to head to the airport, my mind was reviewing and claiming every 'fear not' Bible verse I knew. A twinge of excitement definitely resided within as I was about to step out in faith and trust God like I never had before.

Hurrying to gather all my bags and head to the car, my heart filled with the sadness separation and "Goodbyes" bring. Struggling to find the "good" in "goodbye" my heart was torn and tears threatened. Just yesterday I read these words:

"I'm not sure anything has ever been harder for me - the utterance of goodbyes, the playing out of them, their finality, their void, their distance. Yet there are some distances, some chasms, some signing offs that are purely necessary for life to blossom. Certain things - and I won't name them, because you already know them in your soul - choke us, wound us, and bind us in ways that keep us from new hellos. They deserve a farewell. Still we cling because the painful familiar is often more comfortable than the foreign amazing." (Kelly Minter, "No Other Gods")

Venturing out into the unknown brings risk and demands a choice. God was asking me to say goodbye - not just physically to family, friends, familiar - but to fear. Saying goodbye often creates a void, but God fills that space when we leave room for Him. Our goodbye's can turn into unbelievable, unimaginable sweet hellos.

As I walked to the car, my heart felt heavy, feeling the unavoidable pain of departure that was imminent. Just feet from the vehicle I suddenly jumped when I heard the words, "I don't want to scare you."

I turned to look and ran into the arms of my friend Carol. She had come at this very early hour to be God's reminder again that I was not alone. Make-up was lost and surrendered to tears that fell unrestrained and unchecked. Embraced by a friend, I gave permission, momentarily, for the anxieties and uncertainties within to be completely released so that God's peace could then take up residence and fill my heart.

Armed now with hugs, prayers and chocolate, I waved goodbye reminded again of God's amazing love and care for me.

Is there something in your life today that requires a wave goodbye so that you can fully embrace the hellos He has planned and waiting for you?

Please come back and join me again tomorrow for Part Two of "I Found Joy in a BIG God!"

Also, remember to check my other blog, "Pondering in His Presence" for more indepth coverage of this faith-walk journey.

Amazed

My heart is full to overflowing this morning. I honestly find my fingers still, unable to pen the joy that is drenching delight over my soul. No words can fully describe ALL that God has done over the last couple of days. God's Hand didn't just touch my life, He held it, embraced it, changed it.

Today, before I hurry off to work this morning, I just want to thank so many of you for your love and prayers. Before I left home on Friday I printed off 31 pages of prayers, quotes, bible verses and encouraging words to hold with me as a reminder of God's love flowing through each of you - to me - a very ordinary girl on the other side of a computer screen. Thank you all for reminding me that I was surrounded in God's care, protection and security as I stepped out in faith and trusted Him. You were all a part of this journey and I pray the Lord will bless each of you abundantly for the very precious kindness you have shown me.

Your prayers were answered my sweet friends. Over the next several days I will share my journey with you. For today I want to encourage you that God IS ABLE! Believe that. Trust that. Regardless of how things look and as threatening as they may feel, God's Hand is guiding and He is in control.

With arms open wide my heart sings:

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy is like a river with no wind
It overwhelms me covers my sin
Each time I come into your presence I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

Oh patient Savior, You make me whole
You are the author and the healer of my soul
What can I give you Lord what can I say
I know there's no way to repay You only to offer You my praise

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

It's deeper, it's wider, it's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper, it's wider, it's stronger, it's higher
Than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my kness
'Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

(Phillips, Craig and Dean)

Be sure to check out my other blog, Pondering in His Presence for more of this journey!

The Gift of Music ***UPDATED***

"Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him." I Samuel 16:23

Something so precious happened yesterday afternoon that I must share it with you. Halfway through my day, my doorbell rang, and "David " arrived, not with harp, but another stringed instrument was played. My friend Carol came with a priceless treasure...her gifts and herself.

I sat in a rocking chair positioned in front of my piano, eyes closed, as she began to play worship music that lifted my heart from it's terrified prison of fear to heights of freedom. She sang songs about God as my refuge. She tenderly sang of my life being held in His arms of love. She encouraged me with a simple word of hope and a gentle word of grace. She reminded me through song, that God did not despise a broken spirit and contrite heart. Her voice rang with the promise that God is a shield about me and the lifter of my "plane". The notes crescendoed to the truth that God is real and faith is stronger than what you feel. He is all the power I need.

It is said that music calms the savage beast. Martin Luther writes, "Music is a gift and largess of God, not a gift of men. Music drives away the devil and makes people happy; it induces one to forget all wrath, unchastity, arrogance, and other vices. After theology I accord to music the highest place and the greatest honour. We note that David and all the saints used verse, rhymes and songs to express their godly thoughts." Music is most often the way the Lord speaks His deepest Words to me.

I have never received such a gift. She was willing to fight any doubts or insecurities and share what the Lord had placed on her heart to minister to me. It was the most beautiful act of Christ-likeness I have ever witnessed or been blessed to receive. The gnawing ache in the centre of my stomach has abated. The Lord has regained His rightful place on the throne in my life and my heart is filled with overflowing gratitude and praises to the One who holds all my days in His hands.

Carol, sometimes silences speak louder than words. I pray in some small way the Lord will give you a glimpse of what your friendship means to me and how God used you mightily yesterday to calm my heart and bring me His peace. You are dearly loved my friend.

In the orchestra of life we all have been given instruments to play for His honour and glory. Play on!

Humbled by His amazing goodness to me,







**Updated**

After reading Lysa's blog today, thought I'd add a picture of my new look after coming home from the stylists! I might have some traces of fear on the inside, but my hairdresser said I'm looking good on the outside! HAHA!!!

Unedited Honesty

About to enter uncharted waters and unfamiliar territory. Unedited honesty comes hard. Didn't write here earlier today. Why? Desperately wanting to sound positive and encouraging - because that's what I do - that's what is expected of me - when the truth is I'm struggling. So many people tell me I have the gift of encouragement - so I've tried all day to find the perfect verse that will lift me up on eagles wings and carry the rest of you with me. But, today, emotions run too raw. Feeling like a complete failure. Overwhelmed with thoughts of disappointing God with all this fear. Trying to be strong on the outside - you know, the mask we all wear that we're trusting God as we skip along to the tune of all things working together for good.

What about when anxiety claims sleep? When thoughts magnify doubts. When you don't want to hear one more, "Don't be afraid" because your head knows those words and you could say them in your sleep...if you were sleeping.

Feeling the pressure of letting my son see his mom trusting in God and not totally falling apart. Needing support and encouragement from a husband who views fear as a waste of time. Questioning, what have I done? Did I make a hasty decision or did I respond to God's call? How on earth am I going to get on that plane and trust God on Friday?

As all these thoughts have collided and attacked today, something wonderful began to happen. God called on a team of mighty women to come alongside this very weary traveller and offer love and hope. I sat for at least an hour and cried over the most precious messages that began to fill my Inbox. Ladies, many of whom I have yet to meet, responded to God's hand on their heart to share their life with me. It wasn't messages of 'buck up and move on', but words of understanding, love and caring. I hesitate to begin to mention names because you know who you are....but to Teri, Melissa, Lelia, Marilyn, Glynnis, Liane, Sharon and Laura, I say a humble thank you. I cannot express to you the gift of acceptance you gave me tonight. No preachy sermons. No pat answers. No 12-step program to conquer fear. You've offered me something so much greater. Tonight, through you, I've experienced God's mercy. I've had a glimpse of unconditional love.

I was the beggar on the side of the road, attacked, wounded, dying. One good Samaritan even rang my doorbell at 9:30pm and off we went to Starbucks where she listened to my heart and spoke God's Word over me. To you my friend - words cannot express the healing ointment you provided after a day of looking brave while running scared.

Little Much Afraid is still afraid. I don't know if that will change. I know it can, but it might not. God is calling me to trust Him in a mountain of fear. I'd love to see victory before I step one foot on that plane, but it may not happen. Satan is doing his best to keep me from believing that God can handle all of this. I hate him and I hate what he is doing to my life - running wild right now over every moment of every day when I am vulnerable, weak and frightened.

"Your enemy is standing on your God given ground daring you to take possession of it" (Beth Moore). Them there are fighting words! Through Christ's death the battle has already been won. I do not feel like a "mighty warrior"...but neither did Gideon or David. The giant stands taunting. His words are like arrows. I cry as each one hits my shield, wishing the fight wasn't so hard. Longing for victory to come easily - without suffocating panic. I don't know what new strategies the evil one will use tomorrow. I pray for strength to get by each moment and with that moment I pray my faith will stand.

Martian Child

I just finished crying my eyes out over a movie that my husband and son both tolerated for the sake of their mother. I don't tend to frequent the theatre, as rarely anything invokes enough passion in me to actually go to the cinema. I rented this film today, but I'm so glad I did. Have any of you seen "Martian Child"?

I hate it when people give away the entire plot, so I won't, but this storyline touched me deeply. The idea of this little boy who didn't fit in to everyone's 'norm'. He wasn't like everyone else. He didn't do things like everyone else. He didn't talk like everyone else. His actions were critized. Judged. He was the target of ridicule. Cruelty. Mean kids. He was ostracized from activities. He wasn't accepted. He was "different". Yet, inside he was just a child longing to be loved. He wanted someone to hold him, believe in him, and find him.

It reminded me of another favourite movie, "August Rush". A similar tale of a young boy who desperately wanted to be 'found'. Music touches deep inner places of the soul. There were parts of this movie where I could barely breathe as it whispered so many unspoken cries of my heart. When the young boy played the music that was inside him, his entire face shone...when he was who he was created to be...his life was the most beautiful melody. Other people might find the movie boring...but it reached in and grabbed me. Wish I could remember all the lines. I was crying at the end...not because it has a sad ending...but crying for the longing to be 'found' like the little boy is found.

I've always been viewed as "different". Not in a weird way...but different. As a child of older parents who grew up in an era when girls always wore dresses, I was never allowed to wear slacks to school and I didn't own a pair of jeans until I was well into my teens. Not conforming to the "acceptable" dress code tends to automatically make you noticeable - and not in a good way. Add into the mix the fact that I didn't swear, I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't attend school dances, I went to church, I bowed my head in the cafeteria to ask a blessing every lunch hour, I actually did my homework, arrived at school on time, paid attention in class...and did I already mention I always wore dresses? I guess you'd have to assume I was asking for trouble.

Being different is not a good thing. All of us are suppose to be like the rest of us. "Don't make a scene". Look the part. Adapt to the role. Don't rock the boat. Conventional behavior. Similarity. Blend. Become. But, in all this sameness you actually grow to be invisible. You might look right or suitable in appearance, but you are only going through motions to satisfy everyone else. You cease to truly be.

Is it any wonder we have something inside us that calls for us to be distinct? God's Word tells us that we are a "peculiar people", 1 Peter 2:9. That doesn't mean we dress weird, but our action and character should be strange to this world. We are unique, special, out of the ordinary because we are not of this world. We are, if you will, "Martian children". This is not our home. One day we will no longer be strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints in the household of God, Ephesians 2:19.

Dennis, the little boy in "Martian Child" was diligent in watching and waiting for his father to return and take him home. My Father is going to return one day and take me home. Am I watching with the same enthusiasm and expectation? Do I long for His reappearing?

I'm glad my heart always has a "lost feeling" and an ache to be found. I am an alien in this life because I am not home yet. My citizenship is in heaven. Some days it's hard not fitting the mold and measuring up to everyone elses expectations, but that pain only deepens my desire for my eternal home.

In the movie, "Martian Child" a question is posed: "Why can't you just be who we want you to be?" Why? Because I am a one-of-a-kind, Designer Original, with specific gifts, talents, thoughts, dreams, passions, abilities and feelings and the God of the entire Universe wants me to enjoy who HE created me to be!

Enjoy the uniquenss of you today! Whatever crazy thing you do that is truly you, embrace it. God's smiling at you right now!

16 Years Ago Today **Updated**

The Lord blessed me 16 years ago today with my little 'chum'. Our son has continued to be an absolute delight. Our greatest joy is that he's walking with the Lord and serving Him.

Happy 16th Birthday!
We love you tons!

The Fragrance of Christ

Well, keeping up two blogs is proving to be a challenge....and wait until it becomes THREE!!! (If you want to read short daily devotionals, check out my other blog "Pondering in His Presence".)

My son is currently preparing for his Grade 10 school exams. That's right, summer holidays haven't begun for us over the border yet. He still has a couple of weeks to go. As we drive to school each morning we pray over his day and commit it to the Lord. This morning I was remembering the anxiety of exam time when I was a child. I would study hard and feel pretty confident, but I would still battle nerves when the exam paper was placed before me.

As a little girl my Mom would always pray with me before I left home for school. In fact, she would pray with ALL the friends that came to call on my sister and I to walk to school. At times our front hall would be filled with a dozen youngsters. I don't know that my sister and I were really that popular, but our home was known for refreshing cold drinks of water and candy, so it was a wonderful half-way mark for many making their journey to school each morning.

My Mom had another beautiful practice as well. On exam days she would spray a little perfume on my wrist and remind me that when I was writing the exam, and maybe a question appeared a little daunting, the aroma of the perfume would remind me that she was at home praying for me.

One day when I arrived at school I was talking with a girlfriend when suddenly she asked, "What smells so nice"?

I answered, "It's my Mother's prayers".

She replied, "They sure do smell nice".

God's Word tells us that our prayers should rise as a sweet smelling fragrance to Him.

Whenever you apply a little touch of your favourite scent, may the lovely aroma throughout the day remind you to take all your needs to Him in prayer.

Never Ending Story

It's funny the things that can get us reminiscing about the past. All of a sudden an aroma, a word, a song, a touch invades our thoughts and our minds drift back to a memory held forever captive in our hearts. That happened tonight for me.

I was watching a movie when an event depicted had me journeying back to a moment in my childhood. The Mom portrayed in this film was explaining to her adopted, illiterate daughter the joy of reading. My heart beat quicker with each adjective. I was one who lost herself in books as a child.

My parents took my sister and I to the Children's Library every Saturday and I can recall the anticipation of choosing stories that would transport me to another world. A land where I would become heroine - a girl of outstanding nobility and courage. I would travel to exotic places. Slay dragons. Capture thieves. Love and be loved.

I'd close my eyes and breathe in the scent of books. I would come home from the Library with my treasure, my arms holding hours of wonder and adventure. I would inhale each word. Let the book become a part of me. I would laugh, cry, turn pages in eager anticipation. I would read by flashlight under the covers when bedtime came too early and a tale still had to be told before this little girl could close her eyes and rest.

I've had a passion for words all my life. Watching "The Music Man" at every opportunity, I dreamed of becoming "Marion the Librarian". I wanted to surround myself with sentences, phrases, conjunctions, dotted "i's" and crossed "t's". Should a handsome man find me there, amongst the pages, as one found Marion, that would be wonderful too.

My dream became reality 28 years ago when my first job was working as a Library Clerk at a Children's Library. I thoroughly enjoyed each day of the twelve years I was employed there. In between doing the clerical jobs that were my responsibility, I was able to share my passion of the written word with children. Storytimes and reading clubs allowed me to remain a child myself, far past what the years would allow, opening up the hearts of children to the delight of reading.

Today I purchased a new book - a Bible study. I lingered over the artists cover design. I opened it so carefully as if holding gold, turning each page tenderly, feasting on the truths unveiled. The Scripture passages take me down roads, into far away towns. I share in the lives of Kings and paupers. I weep with those who weep and laugh with those who laugh. I read of great joys and unbearable sorrows. I meet a baby whose birth has changed my life forever.

Then, this Author, who holds pen over my life, will continue to write sentences over me. Sentences will become paragraphs. Paragraphs becoming chapters. A never-ending story that will continue for all eternity. Do the pages of my life rise as a sweet aroma to Christ? My life is to be a letter from Christ, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on the tablet of a human heart. (2 Cor. 3:3)

Tomorrow is a blank page, a clean slate. Words wait to be written. An award winning novel, a best seller, a captivating love story between a Princess and her King. Your life is the most beautiful story being written. Surrender to His plot. Trust His conclusion. I can guarantee it will be happily every after!

Mistaken Identity

Recently I watched a riveting true story on television about a horrific accident involving drivers and passengers of two vehicles. The impact of the crash was so magnficant that bodies recovered from the scene were unrecognizable. One young woman who was fighting for her life became wrongfully identified as one of the deceased. The identity of two girls became switched in a moment, and due to the extent of injuries, bandages, and medical equipment sustaining her life, even her family didn't immediately realize the mistake that had innocently been made. When the discovery became apparent, the two families faced unexpected news. The one family who had buried the girl they thought was their daughter received her back, as if from the grave. The other family who had been keeping round-the-clock vigil at a hospital bedside discovered they had been sitting with a stranger. They had missed their own daughter's funeral. A case of mistaken identity.

It's quite familiar for me, any day, to be incorrectly perceived as another. Being an identical twin, living within several miles of my sister, it is common for me to be addressed by my sister's name while out and about, especially by folks who do not know either of us well. I am quite accustomed to this as being part of my life.

Sometimes I am out with my son and we meet a friend we haven't seen in a long while. Usually without fail, at some point early in the conversation, this person will turn to my son and say, "Oh there's no denying whose child you are - you look exactly like your mother'. Now, whether or not this is a compliment for an almost 16 year old boy (12 more days until he reaches this milestone!), it does speak of family resemblance.

It makes me wonder, as a child of the King, how well do I resemble my Heavenly Father? When others look at me what do they see? God's Word says in Isaiah that Christ had no beauty or majesty that would attract us to Him. Nothing in His appearance that we would be drawn to Him. It wasn't outward appearance that drew people to Him. So unlike our culture today always striving for outward beauty. It's wasn't outward appearance, but inner character.

I ask myself: Do I bear any obvious resemblance to Christ's character? Do my eyes seek out the lonely? Do my hands reach out and touch and bring His healing and love to hurting lives? Do my words encourage and strengthen? Do my ears listen with His compassion? Does my countenance reflect His glory? When people look at me what do they see. Whose identity to they see? How clear is my reflection of Christ to the poeple I come in contact with each day? It's been asked if you were arrested and placed on trial for being a Christian would there be enough evidence against you to convict you? Would I be identified as Christ's? Going even a step further, am I willing to be identified as Christ's and with Christ?

Peter ran from this identity when questioned at the time of Christ's arrest. He was frightened of how being identified with Christ would affect his life. Would he too be arrested? Would he be scorned, rejected, despised, beaten? Would following Christ demand his life? How far would identity with Christ take him? To the cross? Could he travel all that way? Would he be willing to pay the price, endure the loss, face the criticism, accept the death of his dreams, plans and desires and be crucified with Christ? Identity with Christ may take all of us down some very trying roads here in this life, but it takes us all the way to eternity in death. God's Word says that if we are ashamed to confess Him before man, He will not confess us before His Father in heaven. Matthew 10:33 "But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." Can you really afford to forego the shame now in exchange for an eternity without Him?

How does this apply to us practically? It means bowing my head to ask a blessing in a restaurant. It means not being afraid to share a testimony of God's goodness in my life when an opportunity arises. It means saying no to going to the theatre or renting that movie that warns of Christ's name being spoken in vain. You'll know the times. It's whenever your heart is beating faster and the palms of your hands begin to perspire. You sense God's Holy Spirit prompting you to take a stand and be identified as a Christ-follower. Will you?

On the other hand, there is never a case of mistaken identity with Christ. Even as an identical twin, God never confuses me with my sister. He knows the number of hairs on my head and as a believer, my identity in Christ is sealed. Ephesians 1:3-8 tells me that I am blessed, loved, chosen, adopted, favoured, redeemed and forgiven. Through receiving Him as my Lord and Savior, I am a dearly loved child of Almighty God and no-one can take that identity away from me. It can't be stolen, but the way I live my life can allow it to go unnoticed or mistaken.

I'm praying today that each word, each deed, each glance points to the One who gives significance to each moment. My identity, my only identity, comes from Christ. Without Him I am nothing.

Be sure to check out my new devotional blog at Pondering in His Presence.

Potpourri

Well, today I have a mixed bag of special thoughts and happenings to share with you that have all transpired in the last five days. Let's begin with the obvious!

For any of you who have visited my blog for any length of time now you will have noticed a beautiful "face-lift". My dear friend Kelley gifted this make-over to me. Don't you think it's absolutely gorgeous!!!! She is so amazingly talented and she has such a sweet heart for God. The Lord has truly blessed me with her friendship and He is using her in my life to bring His aroma of joy. If you have time today, stop over and visit her blog - you too will be blessed!

I had shared with Kelley how much I love daisies. I call them God's "I love you" flower. With the Lord it is NEVER "He loves me, He loves me not", but always, "He loves me, He loves me, He loves me...." The daisies on this header are a constant reminder that God loves me, always and unconditionally.

The key also has special significance. Through this avenue of writing God is unlocking the secret treasures of my heart. Words that used to stay confined are finding release. The locked garden of my heart is being opened and new life if blooming.

Thank you Kelley for once again hearing unspoken desires of my heart and selflessly giving of your time, talents and love. You are a treasured friend.

Next, I want to share some exciting news I received on the weekend. Back in March I entered a writing contest through The Word Guild, entitled "God Uses Ink". It was a contest run all across Canada for novice writers who have never been published. The entrants had to write a personal journey story of their walk with the Lord. For the experience alone that this would provide, and for the very valuable critique that would be given to every entry, I decided to submit my story. The panel of judges consisted of publishers, authors, editors and journalists.

As time passed and the date of the Awards Night approached, I assumed I would hear nothing more until my critiqued manuscript was returned in the mail. Well, you can imagine my surprise late Friday evening when I found a message in my Inbox notifying me that I was a winner. I had placed third in my age category! What an encouragement. The Lord has used this recognition to confirm in my heart that I am to continue following His direction down this writing path and keep seeking Him.

Yesterday, He opened yet another door. My church has asked me to begin a Women's Ministry blog! This will be another opportunity to share His truths and my heart with precious ladies through the written word. I am SO excited about this ministry as well. God has been speaking to me about using my mind and the abilities He has given me to minister to others. Although this new adventure brings apprehension as well, again I am following His lead.

This morning I read an amazing quote by William Faulkner. It was referring to pilgrims travelling to the promised land. "They are not monuments, but footprints. A monument only says, "At least I got this far", while a footprint says, 'This is where I was when I moved again.""

God is moving me again. It has barely been two weeks since I found out the Bookstore I work for is closing, and already God is moving me on. Life is too short to be standing still. We are not monuments, but footprints. A statue is still; but footprints suggest following. One is a memory, the other is a miraculous life in the making. A statue is unmoving, but a footprint is on a journey. The monument is an altar, the footprint is an adventure. A monument marks history; a footprint is the active, current writing of "His story" across my life.

Thinking that better than a memory stone, is fresh dirt rising beneath my sandal. I do not want to be an atrophied adventurer but a faithful follower. Today, will you come along with me and follow in the footsteps of our Father? I can't guarantee the way will be without danger or hardship, but He is safe to follow.

Shaking the dust off from around my feet,

The Lesson of "All things" continues

Questions. Unanswered questions. Pain. Anger. Confusion.

Where was God Wednesday evening around 5pm when precious little Maria Chapman was struck and killed accidentally by a car driven by her brother? God could have intervened in countless ways. The car could have unexplainably stopped. He could have allowed her brother to see her before it was too late. He could have kept her from being in the pathway of death. He could have acted in a number of miraculous ways - and yet - He didn't. Why?

God's plans are not our plans. Can we possibly see the truth of "all things working together for good" in the face of such tragedy? I try to reason God's plan in this. Maybe little Maria's life would have held a devastating diagnosis. Maybe she would have rejected salvation or wandered from the Lord. Maybe her life would have held addiction, alcoholism, abuse and God was sparing her tremendous hardships. For these reasons, her death is a little easier to understand - but, I don't know that any of this would have been true. I'm writing my own story around her life, trying to guard myself from the coldness that wants to envelop my heart towards a God who would be that cruel to a family who devoted their lives to serving and honouring Him.

I cannot begin to imagine their grief. My own tears have flowed, unchecked, spilling from a heart overcome with pain. The thought of life ever being "normal" again for the Chapmans must seem impossible...unfathomable. Daily they will face reminders of their sweet daughter, whose life was stolen before it's time. Before...my time...not God's time.

Several years ago I had a motto: "I'm going to thrive in 2005". I wanted my life to exemplify and give witness to the verse, that Christ came to give us life - and give it to the full. I wanted to travel from insecurity to confidence. From fear to faith. From inadequacy to accomplishment. From worthless to value. I had dreams of moving from the mundane to the miraculous. I was going to live life abundantly. I was going to thrive!

But, what about when surviving alone is the great success? Beth Moore writes, "Sometimes life is so atrocious that surviving is its own great achievement and a strange proof of sorts that God must exist." Have you ever considered surviving in itself a crowning achievement? Maybe some of you reading this right now are all to familiar with this concept. Maybe you are hanging on by a thread, but at least you're hanging on. You have been dealt a bitter blow - one not expected, that hit you on the blind side. Maybe your loss has been great. Possibly you are walking a living death. A phone call. A letter. A financial setback. A betrayal. Life can change in an instant.

In mere seconds the Chapman family has been changed forever. Laughter that filled their home has suddenly become a stranger. How can they celebrate their oldest daughter's engagement and their sons high school graduation this weekend? How can they be expected to give thanks in all things? How can they keep serving Him?

BECAUSE GOD IS GOOD. The things allowed to touch our lives are not always good, but that doesn't change God's character. God is good! Am I trusting God because of His blessings? Have I got a qualifer on my relationship with Him? Lord, if You bless me, then I will love, serve and follow You. I can't place conditions on God. He grieves with us in our pain. He cherishes our tears and treasures them. He knows our struggle, as One well-acquainted with sorrow.

The answers I seek may never come this side of heaven. Will my faith still stand? Yes, because the same God who is now holding Maria in His arms, is holding my life in His hands, and although I will never fully understand His plans I can trust His heart.

One of the "All things"

Hi Sweet Friends!

Well...I could begin by listing all the reasons I haven't been writing over the past couple of weeks...and they would be valid reasons...but I have so much I want to share that I won't take the time....just know, it's good to be back!

Also...I usually carefully try and plan out what I'll share on my blog posts, but today, you're just going to get what comes off the top of my head...scary I know, but much quicker!

I hardly know where to begin! I've been working more full-time over the past couple of weeks as employees have been on holidays. I LOVE MY JOB!!! It really is the greatest. The Lord gifted it to me back in September. I received a phone call one day...completely out of the blue :o), asking if I would like to work a the Christian Bookstore in my city. This was my dream job!!! I had always wanted to work at a Christian bookstore. I had been a stay-at-home Mom for 15 years and I had told the Lord that when He felt I was ready to re-enter the workforce, then He would have to open the door, as I was quite content to be at home and continue with the volunteer work I was doing weekly. When this phone call came asking me if I would like this position, without having submitted any resume or application, it was confirmation to me that God truly does give us the desires of our hearts. It has been the BEST!!! But, just yesterday I was reminded that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord.

About 24 hours ago now, I received some disappointing news. The store where I work will be closing by mid-August and my job will be over. I came home and cried last night. Cried for 2 reasons - one, overcome by the gift and treasure this job has been...that God would have given me the joy of a dream fulfilled, albeit for a short time. I also cried for the loss of something wonderful.

The Lord had prepared me for this news in the morning, reminding me in my devotional time that NOTHING can touch our lives without coming through God's Hand. Psalm 125 reminds me that God is like the mountains surrounding Jerusalem. He cannot be shaken by the changes in our circumstances. He is not surprised at this announcement. He endures, unmoveable forever. I can rest in a God who not only provides security, but completely surrounds me with His presence. I love what Beth Moore writes, "Nothing can close in on you without closing in on Him first. God alone can be both the watchman and the wall." "Like the mountains surrounding Jerusalem, God is ever surrounding us. He sees and sifts every life experience that could touch His child. Nothing can break His grip."

As I went to bed last night I prayed that the Lord would continue to speak to my heart, and continue He did.

This morning the Lord has reminded me that He is Alpha and Omega. A closed door isn't the end, it's a hand-engraved invitaion to a new beginning.

So right now, again I find myself between the now and the not yet. Again I am living between the times. As James Limburg writes, "between a good time remembered and another good time hoped for".

"You and I will never move to the next level with God if we're scared half to death of what awaits us. On this mysterious pilgrimage we will find that when we do meet difficulties and sorrows, they were not meant to stop us but to form the character required for our great harvest in the coming season. Step into your future, Precious One. Something wonderful awaits you." Beth Moore

I am in awe of my God. He knows every detail of every life. He knows what I'm facing today. He knows what I will face tomorrow. He will not forget me, He has engraved me on the palm of His hand. I can trust him with ALL that lies ahead. His Word is true. He promises that "all things" work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. (Romans 8:28)

This is one of my "all things". What "all thing" is God working together for good in your life right now? You can claim His promise with me if you love Him and are called by Him. Remember, God IS good!

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday my church hosted a Mother/Daughter High Tea. It was a lovely afternoon from start to finish. The room was decorated beautifully and each table was set by the Hostess of that table. My older sister was the "Martha Stewart" behind our exquisite table decor.

Pictured above is my family: Standing, left to right: my sister Sharon, my sister Japhia. Seated, left to right: my neice Michelle, me, my Mom.

I'm so thankful to the Lord that almost 16 years ago now I celebrated my first Mother's Day. There is no greater joy today, than to know that my son is walking with the Lord.



Where did he get that height?

Blessings to all my blog friends today - and Happy Mother's Day!

Mixed Emotions

"Don't it always seem to go,
You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone".

Do you remember my "Bittersweet" post and the thoughts from my "Now and Not Yet" ponderings? Well, just a couple of days ago my heart has felt that similar severing again. Hearing some news on Wednesday evening has divided my emotions, calling me to travel two diverging paths at the same time.

When I arrived home from work just three nights ago, my son greeted me at the door with, "Mom, I've got some very sad news." Well, I perceived immediately it wasn't 'sad' as in the loss of a life, but it was disappointing.

I asked, "Is it school news?"
"Yes"
"Is it teacher news?"
"Yes"
I knew instantly.
"Mr. K. is leaving".
I received a confirming nod.

Mr. K. is the amazing music teacher my son has had the privilege of training under since entering High School. Having a mutual friend, Mr. K. knew of my son long before the two of them ever met face to face. From day one it has been the pairing of two completely music minded souls. My son desiring to one day become "Mr. K." and follow in his footsteps in Music Education, and Mr. K. wishing that some day his two young boys would grow up to be like my son. There has been a wonderful friendship formed, while still maintaining a teacher student respect.

It is this same man I wrote about in my "Footloose" post below. The one who encouraged my son on the opening night of their performance, that all music is for the glory of God. Just earlier this week, my son needed a recommendation from two teachers to apply for a leadership course his guidance counselor strongly felt he should take next year and Mr. K. wrote the following about my son: "Amazing Guy! Fantastic and brilliant student! Could be the best we've had!" Do you see why it's so hard to see this teacher leave?

Feelings arising are similar to my reaction while viewing "Goodbye Mr. Chips" (a VERY old movie) and "Mr. Holland's Opus" (about a music teacher retiring). This gentleman gives his all, freely sacrificing his time, hours upon hours upon hours, to impart in students a passion for music. Just last week one of the bands my son plays in received a Gold Medal and a Scholarship for their outstanding performance. The adjudicator said that at one point during their performance he had to put his pen down and just listen as he was so overcome with emotion while their band played. In the two weeks that this man had been judging bands he said he had not heard anything close to the calibre of these students. A testimony and tribute to a dedicated music teacher.

Although our hearts are already feeling the loss, we are so happy for Mr. K. He has received a huge promotion. He is going from being a High School music teacher, in charge of the Arts Program at one High School, to becoming Head of all Arts Departments in our District School Board. No one is more deserving. No one could be better equipped. No one will be missed more.

So, through our disappointment, we know we must release this amazing educator to bigger and better things. Our joy for his achievement is mixed with the empty ache of the loss of a talented teacher, a model musician, a commanding conductor, a marvelous mentor, a respected role-model, who will remain a forever friend.

We will continue to pray for Mr. K. and we thank the Lord for the impact he has made on our son's life over the past two years. It has been a pleasure and privilege to know him. The Lord has used him greatly in shaping our son and giving Chris future direction and we, as parents, are forever greatful.